dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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