I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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