Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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