You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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