i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
