its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
