why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
