Do you still have your period?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
