Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
