My first STD was from a foam party
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
