How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
