Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
