I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
