I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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