you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
