Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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