You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
