there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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