I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
