And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
