Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
