I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
