are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
