I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You dont lie about slip and slides
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
