Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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