I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
