Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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