So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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