This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
