Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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