I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think i have herpe
just one?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
