I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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