She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
