smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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