You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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