how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
