My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
