I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
