Someone shit on the floor
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
