this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
