I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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