I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
