she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
