i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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