Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
