Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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