I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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