Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
