how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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