I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
